Divorce mediation helps separating couples make important decisions about arrangements for their children (often referred to as child custody), property division, financial support, sharing of pensions, and anything else that the couple needs to sort out. It is the divorce mediator’s job to help the couple make these decisions. It allows couples to retain control over these decisions, helping them to avoid the expense and stress of going to court.

The aim of divorce mediation is not to reconcile or get back together, but instead to help them navigate the legal and practical decisions that need to be made as a consequence of the end of their relationship. Mediation focuses on helping divorcing couples to communicate with each other to discuss options and make decisions so that they can move forward with their lives separately.

• Cost-Effective: Divorce mediation is usually less expensive than either solicitors dealing with everything or going to court.
• Less acrimonious. Mediation is generally more amicable as the focus is on working together to reach decisions, rather than being on ‘opposing sides’.
• Control: In mediation, the decisions are yours and you and your spouse can decide what works for both of you and your children, rather than leaving the decision to someone else.
• Less Stressful: The process is collaborative rather than adversarial. Mediation encourages communication and mutual understanding, which can reduce the emotional stress of divorce. This is not to say that people find mediation easy.

Find out more about the benefits of divorce mediation here. https://archfamilymediation.co.uk/benefits-of-mediation/

1. Initial Individual Meetings (Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings aka the MIAM): The mediation process begins with a confidential meeting between you and the mediator (without your spouse). You can tell the mediator about your circumstances and concerns. The mediator will explain how mediation works and go through the other options available to you. The mediator will assess whether mediation is right for you, and explore any concerns that you have.

Find out more about MIAMs here

1. Joint Mediation Meetings: If mediation is right for you, and both you and your spouse want to go ahead, the joint meetings will take place. The mediator will facilitate discussions between you, help to identify the decisions that need to be made, explore options, and work toward agreements. Mediation usually takes place over several sessions of 1.5 hours each.

Find out more about joint meetings here. 

1. Decisions: Once decisions have been made, the mediator will, with your agreement, draft a Memorandum of Understanding that reflects the mutually agreed-upon terms. If decisions about children have been made, a Parenting Plan might be prepared. If decisions about finances have been made, the mediator will also prepare a Financial Statement. You and your spouse can then have it reviewed by your lawyers and they can prepare the legal document that will be submitted to the Court for approval by a Judge, and upon approval the agreement will become final and binding.

It is the mediator’s job to remain impartial and neutral to help divorcing couples to make arrangements for their futures. The mediator looks at different options with you and how these options will work in practice, to try to find one that works for everyone.

• Child Arrangements: People often refer to this as child custody. Mediation helps parents to make decisions on how much time their children should spend with each of them, and what arrangements will work for everyone.
• Division of Property: A main concern for divorcing couples is where they are going to live in the future and how property and other assets will be divided to achieve this. Mediation helps couples consider the options and how these options would work in practice.
• Financial Support: Mediation helps couples consider whether financial support might be payable from one person to another. There are two types of financial support to consider, child and spousal.
• Pensions: Often people need to consider whether pensions should be shared or not, and the mediator will help you to make decisions about this.

Individual Meetings: Our individual meetings (MIAMs) take place online.

Joint Mediation Meetings: We meet our clients across Oxfordshire for divorce mediation, in Summertown (Oxford), Abingdon, Milton Park (Didcot), Oxford (Littlemore), Bicester and Thame.

To find out more about our locations click here.

Divorce mediation is generally the most amicable and cost effective way for divorcing couples to make decisions about their children and their finances with professional help. However, it may not be suitable for everyone. The mediator will discuss this with you and assess this during the individual meeting (MIAM).

Find out more about who mediation is for by clicking here.

Our mediator, Carrie Rudge, is a divorce lawyer as well as a divorce mediator. Although Carrie will be acting as your mediator (not your lawyer), and won’t therefore be able to provide you with legal advice, the fact she is also a family lawyer offers several significant advantages:

1. In-Depth Knowledge: A divorce mediator who is also a divorce lawyer has a strong understanding of family law and legal processes. They can therefore provide you with a lot of legal information in terms of what needs to be considered. They have an in-depth knowledge of what needs to be included in any legal documents that will follow the mediation and will therefore guide you through this. This helps to ensure that everything is considered during the mediation process, helps ensure that the agreement can easily be drawn up into the legal document.
2. Neutrality with Information: Even though divorce mediators are trained to remain neutral, the combination of legal expertise and mediation skills allows a mediator who is also a lawyer to provide divorcing couples with a lot of legal information during the mediation process. This can be very helpful to couples when reaching an agreement.
3. Faster Resolution: Having a mediator who is also a family lawyer may expedite the process. Since they have legal knowledge, they can address some legal questions by providing information during the mediation process.

In the UK, an accredited family mediator is a mediator who has received formal recognition and certification from a professional body, such as the Family Mediation Council (FMC). Our family mediator, Carrie Rudge, is accredited with the FMC. To become accredited, a mediator must undergo specific training, meet educational and experience requirements, and demonstrate proficiency in managing family disputes, particularly those related to divorce, child arrangements, and financial matters. The accreditation process is in depth and requires mediators to show that they meet a number of specific requirements.