The first stage of the mediation process is to meet with us for an individual meeting (also called a MIAM which is short for Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting). These last up to an hour and take place online. It is your opportunity to tell us about your circumstances, what you want to resolve in mediation, and your concerns. We will provide you with more information about mediation, and ask you questions to enable us to ensure that mediation is suitable, and so that we have information to help you if the joint meetings proceed. We will also tell you about the other options available to resolve the issues with your ex-partner, such as arbitration.

We can then invite your ex-partner to an individual meeting with us. Or, you might have already agreed with your ex-partner that you want to try mediation and both individual meetings might already be booked.

After both individual meetings have taken place we will confirm whether mediation is suitable for you. In most circumstances mediation can proceed, but it might not be the right process for you if for example one person has said they will not provide their financial information when the issue to resolve is the finances, or where there has been a history of violence in the relationship and mediation might put someone at risk of harm. If we consider mediation can go ahead we will ask you if you are both happy to proceed.

Joint meetings can take place online or in person at one of the locations on the Contact Us page, and the meetings last for 1.5 hours. There are usually three people in the mediation meetings, you, your ex-partner, and Carrie. However, sometimes solicitors can join the meetings, or other advisors, such as a financial advisor. The joint meetings usually take an hour and a half, and it usually takes up to 5 meetings to make the decisions that need to be made. However, sometimes it is less, sometimes it is more, depending on what the issues are, and the pace at which you are comfortable with.

What is discussed during mediation will depend on what issues need to be resolved. If finances need to be divided, the first step is for you both to provide your financial information. Then different options are discussed, how these will work for everyone involved, and what are the preferred options for you. During financial mediation, we also look at whether any third party input is required, for example an accountant to value a business, or a pensions expert to tell us how pensions should be divided fairly. We will discuss all of this with you, and take you through what might be needed. During mediations discussing arrangements for children, we will look at what is happening now, what each of your concerns are, what you feel is best for the children, the options, how these options will work for the children and for you, in order to reach a resolution. We will also help you to listen to each other in the hope that this aids communication now and in the future.

If people get stuck on decisions, or would otherwise benefit from some legal advice, people can either consult their own lawyers or we can arrange for an independent lawyer to come to a mediation session and give their opinion on what a fair legal outcome would look like. There will be additional costs for this, in terms of us preparing the documents for the independent lawyer, and the cost of the lawyer, but the cost of this is very likely to be much less than the other potential option of going to Court or having significant solicitor involvement.

Once decisions have been made, we can prepare a memorandum of understanding which records them. If finances are involved we can prepare a financial statement setting out the financial circumstances upon which the decisions are based. When dividing finances, these documents are very helpful to the lawyers who will be drafting the legal agreements. Where decisions have been made as to the arrangements for children, the memorandum of understanding or a parenting plan can be very helpful as a point of reference for the future. We will always discuss with you in advance whether you would like these to be prepared, as there is an additional cost for the time to prepare these.